blah, blah, blah

by debi9kids on April 23, 2014

I made a decision.
I will no longer write about my marriage/divorce publicly.

For multiple reasons.
But mostly because I’m starting a new chapter to my life.
(We are coming up on almost a year of our marriage being a complete and utter mess.)

If I can be honest, I’ve only VERY recently realized how untruthful I had been about my life and marriage on my blog.
And not intentionally.
I wanted to believe SO badly that my husband loved me and cherished our life that I convinced myself that I did it enough for both of us.

I did the 40 Beads.
He did not.
I did the Love Dare.
He did not.
I forgave him for cheating.
He never forgave himself.

There are multiple reasons for the demise of our marriage but ultimately it was because he never loved me as much as I loved him.
And no matter how much I tried to convince myself (or others) that he did,
the truth is
he didn’t.

He settled for me.
Which ultimately means I also settled for him.

I do pray one day he will get beyond his guilt and forgive himself and be able to be happy.
He is my kids’ father after all.

And I pray I will be smart enough the next time to know my worth and settle for nothing less than happiness.

*If you want to read my private posts, email me.

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Protected: clarity

by debi9kids on April 5, 2014

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Changes are going on around here, as well as going on inside my home and, more importantly, inside my heart and head. I have been unhappy for a while now and miss writing and frankly I miss myself. I’ve kind-of been hiding behind the identity of “being Will’s mom” and I haven’t allowed myself to […]

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