I was thinking back to when Russ and I first wanted to start having our own babies and how one of the only disabilities that I prayed I would never have to come to live with was autism.
It wasn’t Down Syndrome, or Multiple Sclerosis, or spina bifida, or something with an honestly much more difficult road for both parents and child.
No.
Instead, it was autism,
Partly because I had worked as a private aide for kids with autism for a few years and partly because I didn’t think I could ever love a child that “didn’t connect” with me.

Now when I think back on those days before I became pregnant with my first baby, I feel foolish
and so grateful for God’s timing.
And His wisdom.
And His grace.

How in the world I ever thought I couldn’t love a child with autism is beyond my comprehension now.
I love Will so fully,
so wholly,
so completely unconditionally.
It’s a love I never expected, but a love I can not imagine living without.

And to think I thought this child would not connect with me,
wouldn’t be able to show me his love,
his wants,
his needs,
when frankly, the one thing he does do honestly, fully, completely and unconditionally is love me
to the moon and back.

I call my son God’s Will because it was His will to show me autism by blessing my life each and every day by being able to see,
taste,
touch,
feel life
as Will does.
SO richly and honestly.

There is nothing held back,
no regrets,
just completely living this blessed life to the fullest.

And why would I ever ask for anything more for my child?

Today I am so thankful for :
the blessing of autism in my life.

Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me. ~ Matthew 18:4-5

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