*full disclosure: This is just a bit of a ramble
Two days ago my middle 6 kids started school.
While I have “prepped” myself for days and days that it was going to be a hard day, nothing really prepared me for just how hard.
I knew it would be hard getting Emma up and ready for school;
knew it would be difficult that she was going into a Montessori-type charter school to attend kindergarten and Will
I knew it would be an emotional day.
In one instance, I am so completely and totally proud of Emma and am excited that she is growing up and starting kindergarten.
In the other instance, it breaks my heart to know my twins aren’t going to attend school together.
Oh how I wish they were…
And as the kids all got ready for school, I braced myself.
I guarded my heart and snapped pictures, keeping my smile, but breaking on the inside.And it wasn’t just knowing Emma was starting kindergarten, but knowing that two of my kids graduated last year and Gabi is beginning her senior year…
I’ve just slowly but surely felt myself slipping into a mid-life crisis of sorts.
My life has been about taking care of my babies day in and day out for 18 years and for the first time in 18 years, my babies will all be out of the house. (including Will, but not until next week)I will admit, I love that Emma was so excited about school.
It made it easier for me to see her off and not break down crying until I got home.
And it does truly help that she is in school with Keith,
But, oh, how I wish Will was there too.
And I do realize it’s my own “hang-up”,
it’s just one more hurdle my heart needs to make,
one more stage of autism I need to accept and just…
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