Truth sometimes needs to be told,
sex and marriage can be rough when there are kids in the house.
And even more so when the kids get old enough to know what sex is.
And when you add a traveling husband and infidelity into that mix…
it can be virtually impossible.
Sadly.

If I can be really honest, Russ and I second guess ourselves all the time about our decision to move the kids and I to PA.
While we love the community (aside from my now clearly racist next door neighbors. <post to come), what we don’t love is the strain that the distance very clearly puts on our marriage.
And while I would love to just say the distance was responsible for Russ’ infidelity,
it was just one factor in his bad judgement.
But, now as we attempt to rebuild our marriage, the distance and lack of time is a huge obstacle.

And, trying to sustain a sex life with 9 kids, lack of time, and zero privacy is just…
next to impossible.

(Being honest here)
Sex is important to marriage,
Any and every marriage.
And a marriage that is trying to survive infidelity…
sex is that much more important.

We need intimacy,
crave it,
in our normal lives
and when you feel like it’s almost escaped you,
you feel the need to absolutely hang on to it
like a vice.

And that’s where we are,
still trying to rebuild,
one weekend at a time;
trying to squeeze in family time, kid time, and husband & wife time
in a little over 48 hours.

It’s tricky.
Especially when the last thing we want to do is announce to the kids when we’re about to
have sex.
{God forbid}
But we have sadly gotten beyond the point of being able to fake them out either…
They know.
Or, at least the oldest kids do
and, boy, is that something that takes getting used to,
especially when they tease us.
(Lord help me!)
But, to some extent, it does make it sort of easier because they now know if our door is locked,
dear God,
don’t come in!

But, back to the biggest problem at hand,
time
or lack of it
and our ability to not feel stressed over the impending
Lord-God-we-need-to-have-sex-but-have-no-time-to-have-sex
scenario.
And that’s what it’s become…
stressful.
Because, if we don’t “do it” , we(me) wonder why we didn’t
but if we do “do it”,  is it always because we wanted to and not because we felt like we had to?

Ugh.
See?
Stressful.

So,
a friend, Melisa, gave me a suggestion,
a suggestion I will be sharing in the months to come,
that has literally
saved
our sex life.
Saved it.

And our marriage…
is feeling
Rock Solid.
finally.