You know, I’ve been trying to think of why I am having so much trouble coming up with time to write and it occurred to me tonight as I was standing in the kitchen trying to cook dinner and Emma kept coming in and bugging me to play a game, or Barbies, or kitchen set, or anything really that it isn’t a time issue, it’s subject matter.
Or, subjects that matter.
It occurred to me tonight as I told Emma to find one of her brothers or sister to play and she responded with, ” But no one wants to,” and I realized, she’s right.
My kids have all grown up and, for the most part, they are in their own worlds.
My six oldest kids are busy with “their lives” and tend to just do their own thing most days.
And that is a huge adjustment for me.
And for Emma.
And while I would love to say that Keith or Will play with Emma, the reality is that neither of them do.
So even my three youngest are “on their own” most of the time.
I think back on when my 6 oldest were little and every moment was spent together and how I wish I was blogging back then because the things we did together were just… so much fun.
And now, I sit and think, what do I blog about?
So I end up feeling like I only write about Will or my marriage and I’m just not sure what else to really say.
And, I realize, it’s sort-of a cop-out to blame it on my kids growing up because we did just recently celebrate Emma and Will’s 6th birthday and threw them a cool Pirate themed party.And I know I could go into details about the fun games we played and the food I made, but honestly, I just don’t feel like it. (if you’d like to see more pics, check out my album on my Facebook page)
It’s made me question if my blogging days are numbered.
Or if blogging is period because I know I’m not alone.
I do know that there was a time when it took up a huge amount of time in my life and it came between Russ and I and nearly ruined our marriage (and that was before his affair). He would complain about how much time I spent away from him to blog and I would literally write him off and now, post affair, the last thing I ever want to do again is have blogging form that wall again.
And so, I guess what I’ve been doing is just writing when it’s really something that needs to be said instead of just saying it and hoping it matters.
And now, I’m rambling….