It’s stretch marks and crow’s feet. (And a great editing app…)
It’s falling asleep at 10:30 instead of staying up til three.
It’s a glass of wine with dinner and strong coffee with breakfast.
It’s having adult conversations with adult children and still having kids who need their mom.
And for me, it’s cancer.
I could choose to focus on the awful things this means for me, but instead I’ll tell you what being 45 with cancer means…
It means I no longer have fear of needles. (I’ve been stuck so many times it no longer bothers me.)
It means my feelings of insecurity about my body had no choice but to go away. (Ever wonder how often a woman with breast cancer has to expose herself to doctors and nurses in an average treatment month?!)
It means I am more patient in a doctor’s office. (I’ll gladly wait an extra hour to see my oncologist if he’s saving the life of a fellow patient. )
It means as a Medical Assistant I am learning first-hand how to empathize with my patients.
It means some relationships in my life were mended when we realized how precious life can really be.
It means I’ve learned to savor the tiniest of moments.
And while I’m certain I will still sweat the small stuff (because I’m human),
I still have to trust that God knows what He’s doing and 45 isn’t going to be about cancer,
it’s going to be about being cancer-free.